(no subject)

[theyregooddogs]

[tired, oh so tired:] Akira, what is your plan?

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[purrtagonist]

So, what? I ignore him, leave him completely alone, and just watch when he turns himself back into the monster he believes he is?

[flexes his hands into fists, before relaxing them again. that was a rhetorical question, so he asks another]

. . . are you-- are you telling me this because you've been me before?

["former prize" and all that]

[theyregooddogs]

There isn't a good ending to any of this. But there can be one where you're more or less intact if you choose it.

Yes, I have. I tried very long and very hard to do what I thought was right until I finally had to step away.

[purrtagonist]

[. . .]

[he drives the conversation away from himself, and towards Will. because he doesn't really know how to respond to that. there's no way he'll allow himself to be dragged down with Akechi-- no way in hell-- but. . .]

Was this the criminal that made you quit the FBI?

[theyregooddogs]

He was involved, yes.

[purrtagonist]

. . . I'm sorry. It sounds like you went through something pretty difficult.

[he means that]

[theyregooddogs]

It was. But I found the clarity to know to walk away . . . Eventually.

[purrtagonist]

[he considers this for a quiet moment, eyes slipping shut, brows furrowed. then he tilts his chin up, and nods]

If I need to walk away, I will.

But not yet.

[he isn't giving up yet]

[theyregooddogs]

If you want—[gestures, hand going in a circular motion] Advice, you can talk to me.

[purrtagonist]

[there's a pause, like he's considering this, like he isn't sure exactly how much he can trust Will (an adult, an FBI agent). but in the end?]

Okay.

[he accepts. because even he knows that he can only handle so much on his own]

. . . thanks. I appreciate it.

[theyregooddogs]

Don't thank me yet. You still have a lot ahead of you.

[purrtagonist]

We all do.

[he sounds a little tired as he acknowledges that]

. . . but still. We keep moving forward.

[theyregooddogs]

Until we can't.

[purrtagonist]

Until we break through our restraints and manage to win this game.

[he likes that ending much better]

[theyregooddogs]

[blinks then slowly shakes his head, a few small laughs]

Sure.

[purrtagonist]

[heh]

I've been called stubborn plenty of times before. The kind of person who, once he puts his mind to something, doesn't back down.

[a breath]

I'm not about to give up on that now.

[theyregooddogs]

[man, children are so dumb nowadays, i hope he doesn't get shot]

Akira, I appreciate that you are young and hopeful, but it inspires people who are old and bitter to be mean to you. As a kindness.

[purrtagonist]

[I hope he gets shot. personally. Akira doesn't, though]

Am I inspiring you to be mean to me at this very second?

[theyregooddogs]

Oh, very mean. As in I am considering sharing old cases with you.

[purrtagonist]

Why? Do you think they'll break my spirit?

[SO WRY]

[theyregooddogs]

I would have serious doubts about your humanity if they didn't.

[purrtagonist]

[. . . yikes. . .]

You don't think someone can still be horrified by the awful things happening around them, and yet still move forward?

[theyregooddogs]

[softer . . . ]

Some can. Actually, many can. But I don't move forward out of hope, only fear— Terror. So, I try to give space to the many reasons why people push on. Or stop and even retreat.

[purrtagonist]

. . . I see.

[he mulls that over, because as a force inspired by determination, conviction, and in some cases, anger? he hadn't really thought about that]

[but it makes sense]

What are you afraid of, Graham?

[theyregooddogs]

And am thus moved by? . . . What happens if and when I don't act. It took a lot to push me into retirement.

[purrtagonist]

[another lengthy pause, and then a quiet response]

Me too.