theyregooddogs | (no subject)

(no subject)

Wherein Will Graham talks to the void and the void answers back.

[. . .]

I am trying to figure out how to escape this while putting my death to use for someone else. But I can't even trust that the legs won't be taken out from underneath me.

They will listen and indulge whatever seems most interesting. I could shift their design, but it's . . . It's still not enough.

[Because you don't want to hurt anyone.]

Who knows what I want? I could kill someone and test how far it goes. But it's in my own head. There's no one to borrow for this.

[No one to borrow. Really?]

It would be disingenuous to kill with someone else's hands, someone else's design.

[You're worried about being genuine when they're not worried about humanity.]

I want to control this. I want to choose when, where, and how someone dies. The good get a good end, the bad get a bad end, and so on.

[So, losing control is . . . ?]

Good, too. If I kill, I get an abhorrent and painful execution. If I die, I get killed by someone weak-willed. Abstaining means shoving my decision onto someone else.

If all of those options are removed, I'm incapable.

[You're already incapable, though.]

I don't have any evidence. I profiled the first kill wrong, because I couldn't see the killer. In these conditions, I'm not going to help them reach an end with minimal loss.

Really, minimal loss is allowing execution lottery to happen, but the rats will just kill off whoever came up with the idea to get submission.

[You have a lot of options.]

I am overwhelmed with the options before me!

[You were able to fool them all before.]

I had a goal. I had to. And that didn't work. I crumpled at the last moment, and it cost all of us.

[You know what he would want.]

Isn't that why I'm talking to you? I'm trying to tap into the part of my brain that knows something about murder and death. Inelegant, crude— I have a very good guess what he would do.

But I'm not him. I'm not going to kill like him. I want those worthy to survive.

[And you're going to damn the rest. Rather, you aren't going to play God.]

I don't have any power. I can't push and pull the thousand little threads that intersect to drive someone to kill. One or two people, maybe. But everyone? It's not possible.

[Isn't none of this possible?]

My mind is splintering and fraying, ready to shatter. It can't be done.

[It has to be done. You know better.]

. . .

[Who is it going to be?]

(no subject)

theyregooddogs - 2017-12-25 10:46 (UTC) - Expand

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