(no subject)

[theyregooddogs]

Wherein Will Graham talks to the void and the void answers back.

Comments

Day 8

[theyregooddogs]

They are pretending it's Christmas again. They even handed out presents.

[theyregooddogs]

[So, they're getting you comfortable with each other and the setting again. That's expected of kidnappers who want murder and suffering, right?]

[theyregooddogs]

I know. I know I shouldn't go along with it. But I've got a dog and a goddamn hamster now. I'm being manipulated into submission with hallucinatory animals.

[theyregooddogs]

[How are those hallucinations, by the by?]

[theyregooddogs]

Crude, real— Vivid. I haven't seen anything like this since I was sick, but it is full visual-auditory hallucinations with no tether to reality. I want to connect the artifice of the murders, the set-up with what I am familiar with, but it's just, just—

[theyregooddogs]

[Just?]

[theyregooddogs]

Inelegant. Even when it wasn't you, there was still some art to it. Some design. I could see it and know there was a complex person with emotion and drive behind it. Here, it's a sham. A mockery of life, imaginary or not, and it is pressing down on me.

[theyregooddogs]

[You hate it.]

[theyregooddogs]

Yes, of course, I hate it! This is not—

[theyregooddogs]

This runs completely opposite to anything I've encountered before.

I'm becoming degraded, and I feel like I'm going to go crazy or become like them.

[theyregooddogs]

[Like who? Degraded and crazy are normal for you, aren't they?]

[theyregooddogs]

I'm going to become like the other rats caught in a trap. Biting at my own tail to escape or lashing out at whatever comes to check the cage.

[theyregooddogs]

[. . .]

Day 14

[theyregooddogs]

[So, how was your day?]

[theyregooddogs]

He used a child.

[theyregooddogs]

[Go on.]

[theyregooddogs]

He couldn't kill himself, couldn't live with a hypothetical, so he turned to a child and begged for death.

I should have killed him.

[theyregooddogs]

[Why didn't you?]

[theyregooddogs]

Because it was obvious! Because I am not staining my hands with his blood. He is not worthy. He is not worthy of me!

[theyregooddogs]

[Oh my.]

[theyregooddogs]

I was willing! I would go up and see whatever debased death they have planned for me to try and preserve something! But not if I have to end up wherever they are!

[theyregooddogs]

[Baby, you're having a lot of feelings.]

[theyregooddogs]

I am! This is absurd! I can't pick out the killer because motive is irrelevant. I'd be shocked if anyone is picking who they kill. It's all opportunity followed by emotional inquiry. This is so far from an investigation that they have no right to even use the word.

[theyregooddogs]

[They're being sacrilegious of murder?]

[theyregooddogs]

Of death, of life, of everything! Everyone is absorbed in this reality that they can't untangle themselves from the fact that it's not even real.