theyregooddogs | (no subject)

My "tells," was it?

[frrrrown]

I can't have other people looking at me and coming to conclusions like that. Not now.

I can't teach you how to be a better sociopath, Akechi.

This is precisely what I'm talking about! I- I'm not a sociopath! I'm doing the best I can, and I haven't hurt anyone here, so who are you to judge me?

Edited 2017-12-21 14:23 (UTC)

[raising his hands up to his waist then dropping them, finally reaching up to hold akechi's face. one stuttering swipe to push akechi's hair out of the way. it is really easy to feel the tremors in will's hands like this.]

You are abnormal. There is nothing wrong with that! You have adapted to survive in a normal world. —You are abnormal, and you are okay.

[completely freezes up, wtf is even happening]

I- I'm not—

I'm at the top of my class. I live on my own, I make my own money—

It's— it's not like I kill people for fun!

Neither do sociopaths. They aren't inherently violent! They achieve and excel, and hurting people gets in the way of that.

[uugghhhh...]

Akechi, look, I'm autistic. I'm different. I don't attend or process anything like other people. I'm abnormal. But I've adapted, just like you. Just like countless other people. It's just a label, shorthand.

Kurusu says I just need a place to belong. He's going to help me.

[so he says, but he reeks of insecurity]

He can.

[taking his hands back, grasping one hand with the other before remembering to drop them both]

He can. Finding a place you want to fit into helps, but you have to learn how to fit in. Learning and unlearning behaviors, framing, perspective.

[he slumps immediately. he seems lost]

It's easy to believe when he says it. That's just how he is. And I think I can change. There's no longer any reason reason to... do the things I was doing before. But even with his help, I'm not entirely sure there's a place left for me back home.

Because of what you've done.

What was I supposed to do? My father...

[he trails off. this is too long and too sore of a story.]

...He's in jail now. But he supposedly confessed to everything. I assume that would include the things he asked me to do.

You could still be tried as an adult even, or yes, acquitted due to neglect and abuse. It depends on how a lawyer and judge want to approach your case.

But the courts don't settle public perception. I can tell you that from experience.

[ugly laugh]

Oh, I already know all about that. Prosecutors only care about winning and money and impressing whichever political party they'll end up with once they're ready to settle down and become even more filthy rich. And the public, stupid fucking sheep that they are, believe everything they hear as long as it fits the popular narrative. That's what I learned when I became a detective.

And that's not even accounting for what that asshole's former friends will do. The odds are not terrible that I myself will be made to disappear.

You've already built a good offense against yourself. What about your defense? There's Akira. But what else?

That's it. Just him.

But that's not as bad as it sounds. If anybody can change the world, it's Akira Kurusu. He's so easy to admire it'll make you a little sick.

I'm not sure about admire, but he does have a lot of bravado.

Let me rephrase the question: Why would you want to return? What draws you to it? And what do you see anyone gaining from you being present again?

[shakes his head]

I don't. There's nothing. Only Kurusu.

[even, honestly curious]

Not even being a detective or solving cases?

I cared when I started. I wanted to do justice. But like I said, I learned pretty quickly how pointless it was to even try. In the end, I only leveraged the position to become famous.

[snorts]

I caused most of the cases I solved, anyway. I have a sort of... you could call it a psychic power. Had.

Akechi, you need help. You should consider putting some space between you and Akira— Space, not separation, don't invalidate his agency —And exploring other possible anchors, too. Logic says what you're picturing is unstable, so you feel instability. Stabilize, find a foundation.

And I am not going to teach you analysis. You have enough in your own head without getting into the minds of others.

But we're finally getting along! I think he's even starting to trust me!

[the prospect is so distressing he barely even notices the bit about analysis]

You will get along a lot better when he thinks that you have a network of people to fall back on rather than just him. Have you talked to him about spending the night with Shuichi or about me?

I've been sharing relevant information with him...

Edited 2017-12-22 12:58 (UTC)

I like to fish. Specifically, fly fishing. I make my own lures. Wally, my son, has gotten better at casting. By better I mean that he has stopped catching me or himself with the hook. He still refuses to fish in the winter with me, though.

This all came up casually between us while we were discussing everything else. He will be surprised, ask questions, and depending on how well you can sell him on that exchange genuinely happening, be pleased.

[blinks. a light bulb has switched on.]

...That's brilliant.